The other day I wondered how many American parents still raise their children to believe in Santa Claus?  More importantly, if so, why?

First off, since American culture is exported throughout the world, our depiction of Santa Claus is also exported around the world.  The American Santa Claus is often viewed by many non-Americans as the expression of mainstream American values such as materialism, commercialism and the commodification of goodwill.

In fact many Europeans see our fat jolly elf as a perversion of their Saint Nicholas.  Christians throughout Europe are not only rejecting Santa Claus, but are launching campaigns urging parents not to raise their children to believe in him. Check out this billboard in Scotland.

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The myth made sense back when the most sophisticated toys were made of wood, paper or cloth.  But the fantasy that the elves in Santa’s workshop are manufacturing digital cameras, iPods and PlayStations is absurd.  A Target commercial attempts to explain how this is remotely possible.

Apparently Santa is a cyborg who shits electronic gizmos.

The U.S. media perpetuates the myth of Santa Claus and incorporates him into their news content, an act I find to be not only a mockery of Christmas but of journalism as well.  It’s not just small town newspapers like this one in Upstate New York in which the reporter spends the afternoon with Santa.  It’s also large national papers like USA Today in which financial reporter Rhonda Abrams lays out a comprehensive business strategy for Santa’s operation, which she describes as “paper-based” and “outdated”.  One would assume that given the non-fictional economic crisis being experienced by millions of Americans, Ms. Abrams would have the sense to spend more time researching and reporting actual financial news and advice and less time working on a business plan for a fictional character.  When I was a journalist I certainly was forced to write my share of stupid non-stories, but I worked for local papers, and certainly nothing of the scope or importance of USA Today.Here’s an excerpt from an article in a Wisconsin news outlet from a mother who deceives her children every December:

“One of my greatest joys of parenthood and Christmas is seeing my kids’ anticipation when they hear jingle bells outside on Christmas Eve, then watch them race around the house looking for reindeer tracks, and the pure excitement and wonder when they get back in the house to see presents under the tree. I tear up just thinking about it.  I love the four weeks leading up to Christmas, helping them with lists, baking and decorating cookies for Santa and my favorite saying when they act up – “It’s crunch time you better behave Santa is watching!”

If your greatest joy is tricking your children into behaving only to look like a liar later in life, you are either deranged or not much of a Christian to begin with.

Which brings us to the “reason for the season”, as many Christians say.  Christmas was established to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ.  Whether he was actually born in December has been debated for years, but there is no debate over the meaning of this holiday.  My parents did not raise me to believe in Santa Claus, but I was never one to ruin the myth for other children, either.  Like many Christians, my parents believed the modern-day Santa Claus has been employed to distract children from the true origin of the holiday.

My father in particular claimed that Santa being an anagram for Satan was a hint that Santa Claus was created to undermine the birth of Jesus Christ.  Santa’s big belly is indicative of the spirit of gluttony and excess in which many families celebrate Christmas.  Compare that to any crucifixion image of Jesus Christ, who is not necessarily ripped but is definitely lean and somewhat muscular (check out the abs!).

Country singer Becky Kelley sums up my sentiments exactly.

3 Responses to “I Saw Mommy Kissing Satan”

  1. Prada outlet says:

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  2. Bizzybeast says:

    So? You act as though its our problem these other countries cannot prevent something they dont want. You act as though we ship santa claus robots overseas to persuade them and their children. Im sorry but fuck em. Santa is a tradition and if people dont like him, just dont celebrate him. DERP…

  3. Not The Only One says:

    Bizzybeast,

    We don’t need to ship Santa Claus robots overseas. In almost every corner of the world, people are soaking up American culture by watching our TV programs and movies. Why? Probably because American media is way more interesting than anything they’ve got locally and that includes all the sappy Christmas specials. Sure, nobody put a gun to their heads and told them to watch American TV and movies; I’m just noticing the reaction of people who are non surrounded by the image of Santa Claus in every advertisement, store promotion and every other form of media imaginable.

    I was just picking apart this tradition of Santa Claus which has nothing to do with the real reason Christmas exists. I think it would be way more effective if the parents just told their kids every December, “Behave and I’ll buy you the gift you want; piss me off and it’s socks again.” Leave the imaginary fat man with a magic bag of expensive gifts out of it.

    I think foreigners have the right idea about abandoning Santa Claus and the “tradition” of bullshitting children. The entire story has holes in it, and given that kids aren’t as gullible as past generations were, the only message they’re getting loud and clear is that mommy and daddy are completely full of shit. Maybe this is why some kids show little or no respect to their parents.

    Thanks for the comment.

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